Tied Up with a Red Necktie

if you see me, you'll shat bricks.
photo grabbed from X U College of Law-Zamboanga FB account.
photo by K. Olaso/X. Sinon

First, lawyers are not liars. They just look things on a different perspective. Set for example when you look at the heads of a coin, they are looking at the tails and trying to prove to you why that side is better. And that is one thing that persuaded me to venture in suicide.

It is more of a well-thought of dream. Not those dreams that are imagined while you are playing holen and your playmates wants to be the next Robin Padilla. This dream is an educated, well-planned and ambitious one.

The dream was really to become a "business" lawyer or simply those who looks for clients with money and earn from them. Call me a hypocrite or whatever but that perception on lawyering has changed, a lot. If I was to continue the "business" then I should have enrolled myself on a much cheaper school and not Xavier. Now, the dream is really to, as cliche-ic and arcaheic it sounds, to be an agent of defense for those that are deprived. And financial gains comes second.

Yeah. Law school. Whatever. :)

and and and
this is a farewell to my imaginary social life that I believe have existed.

borrowed time.

If this was Magic Cards, I would have just paid 4 colorless mana and two blue's then I would have an extra turn to do more things. Thing is, this is not that overly expensive card game and I could not have an extra turn. Thing is, I am busy.

Two months of no nightmare-ish update?
Quite long for someone who stares blankly at the monitor for nearly half of the morning. But I did not seem to have my mind to the thing. I attempted typing a few words but after a few lines, I find myself typing passages of the Constitution.

I have officially enrolled myself to the deprivational course of Law. Time-eating, mind-boggling, soul-stealing, sleep-stealing, heart-pounding, emotional-drying, tears-dropping, ear-bleading, noun-progressive verb. And my english teachers would kill me for the wrong usage of the "dash".

For friends who is familiar with the other blog that closed due to alcoholic topics; let us call it GIN, I might go back to that style, though less bitter. For new readers, you could notice that I have a really dynamic style in writing. If you read closely, paragraphs do not actually jive with each other.

Seriously, I promise that I will update this as regular as possible. Scheduled updates on Saturdays. I swear. and if I miss one, I will have the post within the week. Okay? Breathe.

And let us end this by, the law is blind and not deaf and lawyers are alive and not dead.

bucket list.

If you have watched the movie entitled The Bucket List, which featured Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson as dying cancer patients, you might have the idea of what a bucket list is. But for those that did not have the chance to watch that epic movie, a bucket list is a list of things you want to do or need to do before you hit the bucket (grave). 

Before last year ended, I made a bucket list for 2012. The difference is that I should finish everything within the year and not before I meet God. I listed 20 things and posted them in Facebook so that I could be reminded. link here. :)

For the readers, here is the list: 

1. Graduate

2. Read More

3. Pay My Respects

4. Visit the Island White Pink Sand

5. Serenade Someone

6. Battle Rap

7. Find a Job

8. Trek a Mountain

9. Hold Hands While Walking

10. Save Twenty Percent

11. Walk in the Rain

12. Cook Better

13. Learn to Swim

14. Stop Time

15. Blog Again

16. Write Again

17. Find a Sunflower Field

18. Survive the First Year as a Law Student

19. Go Fishing

20. You know na. :) 

As you could notice, numbers 1, 14 and 15 have been striked out. This signifies that I have already done things.

Number 15. Blog Again

Well, this blog is my revival blog. I have blogged when I was still in high school but without the needed drive. Now that I have a little luxury of time, friends that blog and some kind of inspiration, that gap of the "needed drive" have been filled in. Now, I try my best to blog as regularly as possible.

Number 14. Stop Time

Stopping time. Not literally. The last two weeks of my stay in college was dreadful. Our final project, the feasibility study, was denied by our department head. We had to do on-the-spot revisions and impromptu overnights just to satisfy our teacher. We stopped time. How? We were able to balance everything. We were able to concentrate ourselves to doing the paper. I know its weird logic to associate the simple task of balancing stuff with stopping time but then it is the closest thing to stopping time.

Oh this is our business proposal for the study: 

And this is me hugging the lady who gave us the dreadful last two weeks:

Number 1. Graduate

March 24. The day wherein we received a roll of white bond paper tied with a blue ribbon. The day wherein we, Ateneans, listened to a La Sallian giving a speech on being a good citizen. The day wherein black robes surrounded the campus. The day wherein we nearly cried because of Ralph Chua's Valedictory address. The day wherein we end our lives as college students. We have graduated that day. No awards for me, but then, I am a graduate. So the hell with those awards?

Oh here are some shots. (I did not take these pictures, they came from various sources.)

oh yeahz. :) 

On Paperworks and Groups.

I have the God-given talent of bubble writting. It is a form of writting wherein paragraphs revolve with one sentence and the following sentences are just revised, paraphrased sentences of the first sentence. Logically thinking, it is as if I am repeating the first sentence in a differenct accent.

This talent is, as I would consider it, a positive one. I am able to formulate essays that require three pages or more with ease. The problem is that it only works when I have a central idea or a statement to work. Now with the current paperworks that I am having, that central idea is not present.

I personally hate groupworks. I am a person that argues and questions a lot. Often, it leads for the groupmates that I have to agree with all that I say and not question. This is one thing I hate. It is not my aim to put them in a position which they are to be humiliated and become my verbal punchingbag. I aim to have clarity. Questions are made for those who are in doubt. Too much questions would mean that something is not clear. Too much questions also means that you are interested.

What I am trying to say is that, I could not work properly with those paperworks given. I am not able to find central ideas or statements that could help me start writting. I depend on my groupmates to give me those results of the surveys to have information. I depend on my groupmates for their comments. I depend on my groupmates for everything. I am nothing but a bubble writter. I do not write on my own rather I write for topics given to me.

Lost? You should be dear. :)

Class Prophecy - 2

I am no prophet to communicate with the guy above and predict the future. I am writting certain stuffs that I think is possible to happen. With perserverance and determination, a person may achieve of his dream. As they say, it is with action that a dream is achieved.

Now let us continue with part two of the prophetic prophecy for my 2008 IGIS class. :)

--

Drizzle. Sunrise. Tuesday Still.

The rain stopped but eventual drizzles occur. The view behind the glass walls of the airport is an abnormal combination of the bright sun trying to rise in the dim sky. Grayish-orange. A weird combination.

An international flight has arrived. Cathay Pacific from New York. It had two hundred or more passengers all wanting to spend the yuletide season in the Philippines. In the sea of people, I saw two familiar faces. I saw Rose Ann Porol and Antoniel Solis. They were dragging big bags and were waiting for some boxes to arrive. I had no actual communication from these two, the last I heard is that they had graduated nursing and had got married after graduation. Judging by what is happening, I am guessing that they have been in New York as nurses for quite sometime and just went back now. It is good to see them, smilling as they drag their luggage. Even though I wanted to approach them, the call for boarding have been announced. I was hoping to see them in Zamboanga.

Adrian brought a big luaggage bag with him. It is filled with stuffs he brought from places he went, mostly of which are souvenirs. I brought a backpack with a few shirts. A sling bag for my laptop and some random donut box. I have forwarded my other stuff to Zamboanga. This certain package forwarding company had forwarded it. It had good service and delivered my stuffs fast. I took a look at the receipt and to my surprise have discovered that it is own by Ivan Yao. I have heard that he owned a shipping company. He bought of some shares of Sulpicio Lines and was elected to as board of the company. He bought the company after a few years. Now, he owns the company and has transformed it to one of the biggest package forwarder in the nation. Aside from Ivan, part owners are his close high school friends, Lyle Mabalot and Audrey Soliven.

Seat 14. Window side. First class.

The first class seats were crowded with silence. It is supposed to house fifty passengers but it had less than 20. Infront was a group of Chinesse-Filipino investors. Behind was a band with their manager. From my seat, I could clearly view those who are just about to have their seats. I saw one familiar guy, Jan Ahaja. He turned out to be talking with the Chinesse-Filipino investors. He is a marketing specialist. Though not of advertisements, he have created bridges for company's to their market. It made me smile just looking at him talk with such people.

I took a glance at my phone. It was seven o'clock. I had to text someone and greet her good morning. I typed the message and looked for her name at the phonebook. I typed in the letter s, then h. Then her name was there, Sharifa Camlian. She is a doctor, specializing in orthopedics. She is based in Cebu. I told her in my message that me and Adrian are about to fly to Zamboanga. She replied with the words "see you". Still, no change, she is still direct to the point. This attitude of hers led to her success in her chosen specialty. She is now the ortophedic department head of Chong Hua Hospital in Cebu.

Adrian and I talked about what we are going to see back in Zamboanga. He told me that there were new hospitals in the city. One was named Calma-Salomon Medical Center. The name of the hospital was from two doctors who are bestfriends. They were Kate Calma, a dermatologist that is not focused on cosmetics rather focuses on skin diseases and Rhea Salomon, a cardiologist that has expertise on heart transplant. Their hospital was one of the key elements as to why Zamboanga have became the second in terms of quality hospital. They are second only to Makati.


--
part 3 waits lang!

Class Prophecy - 1.

Finally, we are able to claim our yearbook. It took us four years of waiting for a book that had our face for just one-fourth of a page. To be honest, I felt disappointed. Not only that I did not look good in the picture but some other information were not present. The clubs I have attended were nowhere to be found, the quote I wrote was replaced and my picture was just.... I felt that the four years of waiting was wasted and that the one thousand peso contribution for the yearbook was not a good investment.

Another thing that I do not like is that my beloved section, Saint Ignatius, has no class prophecy. I know it is a mistake in our part because we were not able to create one, but then they failed to inform us about this. Thus, resulting for our section to have no prophecy printed.

As me being bored, I decided to try and create one. So this is my prophecy for our class. So here it goes.

--

Tuesday. December.Twenty Twenty.

It is raining. Not that rain that usually bring flood to these crowded streets of Makati. This rain is the one that soothes and calm your senses. I have longed for this feeling. It made me remember the drizzles that often cools my head back in Zamboanga City. I am heading back.

Moving back to Zamboanga City is a tough choice for me. Ever since passing the bar examinations, this certain law firm became my home. Do not get me wrong, the incentives I receive from this firm is really high. It is just that I felt that I needed to give back to my home city.

I did not sleep. I spent the night having a despedida dinner with office mates. The restaurant, a well-known French restaurant, was owned by one familiar individual, Antonette Panes. We had a little chat, I told her that I'd be leaving for Zamboanga the next morning. She then told me that some of the Zamboanga-based IGIS are planning to have a reunion and she has plans of going to Zamboanga too.

I felt excited. The moment I heard reunion I felt a sudden jolt in my senses. I then called my best friend, Adrian Dante Sale. Adrian, worked as medical staff in a cruise ship. Well, he wanted to become an astronaut at first but then ships were the closest he can get to space travel, so he decided to go for it Now, he is planning to return to Zamboanga to continue a career as a nurse. I told him about the planned reunion. He also felt the same excitement that I had when I heard of it.

Morning. Six O'clock.

We were at NAIA terminal. Waiting for our planes to let us board. While waiting we have observed that the place was furnished excellently. At the back of my mind, I felt that I saw these furniture in sketches. I felt the familiarity, I felt I knew the one who designed these furniture. Then Adrian mouthed APRIL. At first I thought he was referring to the month but then I realized he was referring to Athena Bellotindos. She had great successes in the furniture industry. She was regarded as the next Cobunpue. Her pieces were sold not only to local celebrities and businessmen but also to international celebrities. I personally, have bought some pieces from her shop to be brought to my house in Zamboanga.

We booked for an eight o'clock flight. We were early because we wanted to avoid the heavy traffic that is unavoidable in EDSA. I turned my attention to the television in the waiting area. It aired a morning show that had just turned into its news section. It was, a cliche as it is, braggig about Filipino pride. There was a Filipino-American rap artist that was making waves in the United States. Designers from New Zealand and America that had Filipino ethnicity. A director who was just awarded in the latest Cannes Film Festival for her indie film entitled: Vinta. They flashed pictures of these individuals doing their crafts, then I smiled as I saw the familiar faces in the television screen. Dale Malabas, my classmate during second year high school, turned into a rap artist, rapping about freedom and patriotism. Kristine Nierva was apprenticed by Llhulier and made great gowns for international record artists. Yanee Imperial made her name known in Australia through her comfortable casual wears and beautifully crafted gowns. Lastly, the director, Ana Lim, made her name known to the world of film.Working hard for a film that was focused on the history of the city she loved, Zamboanga. All were planning to come back to the country and celebrate their holidays with their families here. I just wondered if they will be in Zamboanga or just be staying the hotels of Manila.

*not yet done! *will try to finish part 2 soon!

Tomorrow is Desperation Day.

I am guessing I will not be able to post this in time for Valentine's day, so I am going to post it earlier.

This post is about how I suck at girls.

A friend noted that I have this extraordinary talent. I can make girls "fall" for me for an instant but when things get serious they leave me hanging and broken. It is not something that I should be proud of. It is an insult for me. But then that happens, if not most, all of the times.

i kinda liked this girl.

I never had a girlfriend for college. Four years of chasing some girls. I never had my luck. I had near shots but then I either end up in the friendship lagoon or the friendzone or even worst the bitterzone. I do not actually care about being branded as the guy who never had a girlfriend in college or Sakuragi. The only thing that bothers me is why not me? 

 this one turned out to be a good friend.  

I actually have thought of it all. All the girls I have courted, I tried to look at my short comings. I tried to look for what was my mistake. I tried to look for what was wrong. And I guess I did a lot of wrong things that contributed for my failure.

So for readers, this is a list of some things you might be doing wrong.

she is an artist.

First on the list, you are not superman. Most girls look for the Clark Kent of their life. They act as the damsel in distress and you are the superman that will save their life. Often we think that saving her life will eventually lead to a good, happilly ever-after love story. This we got wrong.

Saving a person, in this case, a girls misery is not equivalent to being with her. It is more of just saving her from misery and not you together fighting the misery. Note that girls are more impressed with the person that stands beside her and fights stuff than those that save her away from it.

 sunshine. oh my sunshine.

Second, do not lose your maturity. I am nineteen years of hard-core experience. If I was a video game characther I would be in level 70. But guys lose maturity with girls. That level 70 characther turns into a weak noob that is easily murdered. 

Girls are often immature. They think childishly. Thinking that it is a cute way to voice out what they have in mind. They are sentimental over nothing. And guys fall for it like a rocket falling because of gravity. When she starts to argue about things not be argued upon we stumble and start arguing back. Then conflict. When she does not text you for ten minutes, you call her, then argue. Then conflict.

The conflict arises due to immaturity. Act mature. It might hurt you a bit. But you should put a little pride on your self even though relationships require you to swallow it. 

friends. just friends.

Number three is timing. Based on experience, I end up in a romantic bond with a girl that either is a) just broke up with her boyfriend or b) someone who never had a boyfriend ever. And trust me you would not like that.

On the first scenario, the girl just broke-up with the boyfriend, so you expect her to move-on immediately and date you? This is the common mistakes of some guys, including me. We have the superman-complex of saving a girl then we also have "I-will-be-here-for-you" attitude. Not unless you are this gay bestfriend who is ready to hear her rants about his ex, you should not be there for her. Let her forget the guy first. You are not a rebound. And most of all, do not take advantage of the situation.

The second scenario is the awkward scenario. I had a girlfriend back in high school. I was her first and so was she for me. It was not that awkward since we were growing together. But I never found maturity in that relationship that I could apply for the future. Which leads me to the problem with NBSBs, I do not want them to have the worst first boyfriend they could possibly have. 

i love holding her hands.

Effort is not always appreciated but is needed. That is the fourth thing to consider. Some guys give way too much effort to the point that they are giving their everything that forget their own self. This is wrong. Also, giving no effort at all is a big mistake.

We must understand that all effort is not appreciated. It is like attending a class, yes your daily attendance may not noticed but then it is needed for you to understand the lesson. In the same manner, going to a Monday and Wenesday class on a Saturday is stupid. Also, your absence will be clearly noticed. Get the logic? 

Effort should be shown. Once I showed no effort to a girl then I greeted hello to goodbye. Effort should be in moderation. I gave way too much effort to another that goodbye welcomed me with confetti. They say the key to a girls heart is effort. I say it is moderate effort with some add-ons that catches a girl.

 she sings. a lot.

Last is be consistent. This is the hard part. You always want to start with a boom when you meet a girl. It is for first impression. They say that first impression lasts. What I see is that that impression only last when we make it last.

You introduce yourself as a good boy from the western shores of Zamboanga City, stay with that till the end. If you have introduced yourself in another persona, away from the real you, you definitely have a problem.

They say that you should act natural. This is true. Be yourself. If she would not like you the way you are, take the hint, she is not for you. If she will like you, most of the times she will, just continue on what you are doing. Remember that if it comes out naturally the three worded phrase from her will come out easily.

I listed things that you should consider.Yes, I do consider those things too. But you can never be sure of what will happen next. I mean, girls are girls. Even the dictionary explains their definition in a hard language. So, think of it this way, girls are mysterious creatures, scary mysterious creatures.

Talk. Interview

*the me is looking for a company.

So what comes after graduation? 

Looking for a job.

So how is looking for a job like?

Hard.

In the past two days, we participated in a job fair that was initiated by the ADZU-CGO. It was a fun-filled experienced. Fun, because as a talkative person that likes socializing with strangers, it was exciting to get interviewed. 

Although I had experienced tougher interviews such as the MASICAP and the ADZU-Law interviews, the interviews that I had now where more challenging. The interviews that we had were of just a few minutes, if you are interviewed for more than 10 minutes it is considered long already. The challenge here was to give a lasting impression to the ones interviewing given the short period of time.

I applied for a total of nine companies, more than any of my classmates applied for. I wanted to get interviewed by many companies to increase my chances of being taken in to their company and not to be taken for granted. My favorite interviews were from Columbus, Coca-Cola and SIKAT. 

Columbus is a sardines canning company located forty five minutes away from where I am currently living. The reason why I liked the interview is that it was a pressure free interview. I was able to communicate with the interviewer in a casual manner. We laughed at some part. I also felt that I made a new friend in the person of the interviewer.

Coca-Cola is my dream company. Being interviewed by a representative from that company was a great honor for me. It was as if one of my dreams came true. I enjoyed the interview at the same time I enjoyed listening to the interviewer as she reviews my resume. I plan to apply to their company and be interviewed further by them.

Lastly, SIKAT. SIKAT is a tutoring company. They specialize in exams like the Civil Service Examinations, NMAT and other entrance examinations. The reason why I enjoyed the interview is because it came unexpectedly. I did not plan to apply for SIKAT but then I signed up and got interviewed out of nowhere. There I was able to release my frustrations of teaching and my dying want to teach people.

Over-all, the job fair was a fun experience. No rants about it. I just hope that all of us receive phone calls from the companies that we have applied to. 

:)

Why Blog?

Blogging. Most internet nerds would refer to it as online journals and the like. It is this diary wherein random people tell random stories about their random life. Totally random. With application of logic we could say that blogging is nothing more than randomness.

I tend to believe that there are reasons as to why people blog. Some for self-expression. Some to channel their pain. And some for just the mere fame and spotlight. I blog because I want to improve on some things.

For those that read my blog and does not know me personally, I am an ambitious person. I am person drunk with passion and likes to achieve things. On top of my list is a title that I want to be attached in my name. A title that most people like to look up to. The title of an attorney.

I want to improve on the way I write about things, that is the main reason why I blog. I am a Filipino and English is not quite common in the household. Blogging gives me an avenue to at least practice my writting english. Also, in blogging I can relate to other people, which is another plus.

Everything happens for a reason. We do things for a reason. I blog to improve myself. Now ask yourself, why are you doing what you are doing now. :)

again and again.

And then I indulged myself into creating another blog site.
This time, I'll be more serious.
Less bitterness. Less whining. Less ranting. :)

Much love. Benn. :)